so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
