My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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