More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
