What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
