I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
