Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She's the barista slut.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
