Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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