the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
