So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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