Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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