I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
wow bdsm is so cute
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