yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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