i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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