Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
