He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
