my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
