I wish I could teleport
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
