You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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