Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
