It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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