im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
