that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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