Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
