I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
True but thats because hes a fetus.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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