Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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