He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.