i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
4 words: hood of his car
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
