I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
