i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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