i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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