oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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