I hate all girls vehemently.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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