so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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