Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
