i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
