Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
