Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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