We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
