Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
