I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
