Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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