i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
