Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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