why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
