oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
