I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
