if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
