just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think weed is turning my hair brown
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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