Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
