No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
