bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
