he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize
