if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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