According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
this hospital has no fireball
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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