You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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