Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
