bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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