mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
