Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
