Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
