Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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