Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
