Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This baby is an asshole
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
