Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
