if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We named our party play list daddy issues
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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